This Is How I Feel
by oh one
Summary: OneShot. Miley and Lilly lay in their own bed thinking of the years they spent together as bestfriends, wishing they could be something more. Miley is going to marry Jake in a few hours, can Lilly tell Miley how she feels before it's too late?MileyLilly


**Lilly's P.O.V**

I sat there lying in my bed. I slowly raised my head to come out from the sheets. The clock read 2:05 A.M. I turned over and laid down on my back. Miley was to be married by 1:00 P.M. My best friend Miley. Maybe, just maybe she wouldn't bet getting married tomorrow if I told her how I felt. Instead she was marrying Jake Ryan. Ever since Miley moved to Malibu and I became friends with her, I always felt different around her.

Miley, Miley Hope Stewart. Her curly brown hair, her voice, her skin, her accent, her eyes, I loved everything about her. I remember always feeling different around her. I've known Miley since 7th grade. 7th grade I remember trying to be friends with her, and it worked. We even became best friends. I was focused so much on trying to get to like me, I didn't notice these feelings, but they grew. I remember during 7th grade I tried to act "cool." Miley seemed to notice. She told me she loved me just the way I was.

Then there was 8th grade. It felt as if we were growing apart. Miley was always busy with something. I remember I went to my first Hannah Montana concert that year. I wanted to take Miley, but she couldn't go. She had to "spend quality time" with Jackson. I took Oliver Oaken, my best friend since Preschool, instead. I wanted to get Miley something from the concert. I decided the best thing to get her was something from "The actually Hannah Montana." Oliver and I broke into her dressing room. Well I did, Oliver was stuck outside. But in the end he got a blue towel. For me, well I found out my best friend was Hannah Montana. I became Lola. Being Lola gave me more time with Miley, and I loved it.

By 9th grade going to all these parties for Hannah started to wear off. I grew bored, but still went so I could be with Miley. But a tragedy hit me. My father died. I miss him so much. He was hit by a drunk driver. I never drank to this day because of that. Miley was there for me. She took as much of the pain away as she could for me. She was all I needed, she made me happy. Miley even missed a few Hannah concerts for me, Lilly Truscott, her best friend. I was too hurt to realize my feelings for her. She was there to comfort me and make me feel better. For then, that's all I needed her for.

10th grade, well that was when she had her first real relationship. With my best friend, and hers, Oliver Oaken. That's when the jealousy hit. I waved it off, but it wouldn't go away. I thought maybe I loved Oliver, but that idea soon died. I saw them kiss, only I didn't find myself hating Miley for kissing Oliver. I found myself hating Oliver Oaken. When I saw them kiss, I found myself crying. Did this mean I loved Miley Stewart? Yes, but I shrugged it off. I ended up dating this kid Matt. He ended up hurting me. He raped me, and broke my heart. Miley was there for me, which caused more pain. Her kindness made me love her more. I didn't love Matt, so why did it hurt so much? I knew why, because I knew then the only person I would love was Miley Stewart. But I would soon learn to get use to it, the pain.

By 11th grade they had broke up. I was so happy. Maybe then would have been the time to tell Miley my true feelings. She had broken up with Oliver, he told me it was because she loved someone else. Oliver asked me who I liked one day randomly that year, I lied and told him John McNeil. He was some kid who I skated with. I had to make up something, I didn't want Oliver thinking I loved Miley. But anyway back to Miley. Of course I was foolish enough to think she loved me. I remember walking to her house in the pouring rain, with flowers that I was going to give to her. They were daises, her favorite. As I neared her house, I saw her sitting on the porch, but she wasn't alone. I snuck to her porch, I was going to surprise her. That's when I heard her talking. Jake was there holding Miley in his arms. I always wanted to hold Miley, did he know how lucky he was? I never got my chance to tell her how much I loved her. I heard her tell Jake that she loved him so much. I figured that was the reason she broke up with Oliver, that was the person she loved, not me. I dropped my flowers and started to walk home. My tears blended in with the rain. Miley Stewart, was my best friend, and that's all she would be.

Much to my disappointment Jake and Miley dated all throughout 12th grade. I watched them go to prom together. I watched them dance, slow dance. I watched Miley smile, I could never make her smile like that. I went to prom with Oliver. I felt bad, I tried to be happy. I danced with Oliver, but he could tell something was wrong. I told him everything was fine. Miley came up to me and asked me to dance. I wanted to say no because it would only hurt, but I agreed to Dancing with her, being so close it felt amazing. I wish I told her. She was all I ever thought about. I was in love with Miley Stewart and always will be.

* * *

**Miley's P.O.V.**

I sat there lying in my bed. I was staring at the clock, 2:05 A.M. I turned over and faced the wall. I was to be married by 1:00 P.M. I wish my best friend Lilly was with me right now, I wanted to talk to her. I wasn't sure if I should marry Jake. I didn't love him the way he loved me. I should have told Lilly I loved her.

I loved Lilly's hair, I loved the way she said my name, I loved it when she called me Miles, I love her eyes, how she smells, I love everything about her, and always will. I moved to Malibu in 7th grade, I remember being scared. But she made everything better. A few kids were making fun of my accent, Lilly stood up for me. She told me she thought my accent was cool, and different. She said she liked different.

Let me see 8th grade. I was so busy with Hannah Montana, it was when she was getting big. I never had enough time with Lilly. It made me sad, I hated lying to her. But I was scared. I didn't want her to treat me different because I was Hannah Montana. I couldn't lose my friendship with her. I loved her too much. Only then, I didn't know my true feelings. I remember Lilly being so excited about the Hannah Montana tickets she got, it broke my heart to tell her I couldn't go. I loved when Lilly was happy. Later that night, after the concert she came into my dressing room. She ended up seeing that I was Hannah Montana. We fought a bit, but in the end everything was okay. Lilly became Lola.

I'll never forget 9th grade. Lilly's father was hit by a drunk driver. I was furious. How could someone be so stupid? If you're going to get drunk, don't drive and take away other peoples lives. I remember being with Lilly a lot that year. Well we were always together but that year we got a lot closer. I held her when she cried, I wanted her to feel better. Seeing Lilly upset killed me. Lilly thanked me numerous times. She said she loved me, I remember getting a warm feeling when she said that. But I pushed it away. I had to focus on making Lilly happy, not something that could complicate things.

10th was when I dated Oliver Oaken. I just remember hearing from people that he loved me a lot. I didn't want to hurt him. He was my best friend. I thought maybe, just maybe I could love him like he loved me. The only thing dating did was make the feelings for Lilly stronger than before. When I kissed Oliver I felt nothing. I also noticed that Lilly seemed jealous, maybe she loved Oliver. I felt bad. But then she dated Matt. I hate Matt that pig. He touched Lilly, he hurt her. He almost destroyed her. Lilly and I grew, if possible, even more close than before. I had to ignore my feelings for Lilly, I couldn't tell her I loved her after she just got hurt by someone else.

11th grade, one of the worst years ever. I broke up with Oliver, I told him I was in love with someone else. I knew I hurt him by the look he gave me, but we hugged and he made me promise we'd still be best friends. I went back to my house and changed into something more "suitable" hoping Lilly would recognize me. I told her to meet at the beach. I walked to the beach and overheard her and Oliver. Lilly liked someone else, not me. Friggen John McNeil. I was depressed, I thought Lilly loved me. Luckily (I guess) Jake came back that day to confess that he loved me. He came to my house in the rain and sung me a cheesy song. He gave me some fake rose. I wish Jake just gave me real flowers though, I loved daisies. I felt as though someone else was there, watching us, it must have been the wind. I told Jake I loved him, which was a lie. I really was in love with my best friend Lilly Truscott, but she'll never know.

12th grade I was going steady with Jake. He tried to take it to the next level, if you know what I mean, but I refused. I wanted to wait till I got married. By tonight I would have no choice. We danced at prom, but I felt myself stealing glances at Lilly and Oliver. I couldn't help but tell she didn't look happy at all. I excused myself from Jake, and asked Oliver if I could dance with Lilly. When Lilly came back from getting a drink, I asked her, she hesitated, she looked nervous. But she quickly smiled and said she'd love too. Dancing with Lilly, being close to her was the best feeling in the world. I cried myself to sleep, wishing that Lilly was the one I'd marry tomorrow, not Jake. I was in love with Lilly Truscott and always will be.

* * *

**Lilly's P.O.V.**

There I was walking into the church. People were scattering around everywhere, fixing everything making everything look perfect. Everything deserved to be perfect because Miley was perfect. I shouldn't have came I was going to go insane. I was going to see Miley in a beautiful dress, if possible more beautiful than she always was. I found Miley the most appealing when she was in her pajamas and her hair was messy. I found Miley beautiful when she wore anything. When she dressed like Hannah Montana, in a sick twisted way it turned me on. I leaned against the wall, Miley was right behind this wall getting ready to marry Jake. Her father told me to check on her before the wedding. I slowly put my hand near my pocket. There it was, a piece of paper saying why I love Miley Stewart was all there. I was going to take it out until I saw Jake come up and knock on Miley's door.

"I know I can't see you before the wedding, but you better be wearing my mothers dress, and have your hair up the way I like it, you have a half an hour and you better be ready." Jake said rudely walking away.

I decided to put the paper back in my pocket. I knocked on the door. "Miley, it's me Lilly can I come in?" I asked nervously.

"Yes." Miley said. It sounded as though she was crying.

I opened the door, I was right. There was Miley, the way I loved her, minus the crying. Her hair a mess, she had on a baggy shirt and pants. Besides her was an ugly wedding dress, I suppose it was Jake's mothers.

"Lilly you shouldn't see me like this I'm a mess." Miley said softly staring down at the floor.

"Miley, you look amazing." I said getting closer to her cupping her chin. She smiled I bit and whimpered out a thank you.

I sat down next to her, we stayed silent for a bit.

"I wanted to wear my mother's wedding dress you know, and I wanted my hair in a bun. Not in pigtails. Not wearing that ugly dress." Miley said whispering shyly, as though Jake was behind the door listening.

"Miley, do what you want, it's your wedding." I said giving her a small hug.

"Oh Lilly." Miley mumbled. She started to cry. I wiped away a few tears. I began to feel brave.

"Miley, can I read this too you?" I asked.

"Sure." Miley said looking me in the eyes.

I stood up and unfolded the piece of paper. "I wrote this from 7th grade to now. I added things in throughout the years." I mumbled. I started to read off the paper.

Why Miley Stewart Makes Me Happy and a Bit Insane

1.She's my best friend

2.She's nice to me

3.I can be myself when I'm around her

4.She told me her secret

5.She's always there for me

6.She makes me feel different

7.She tells me she loves me

8.Her hugs are warm

9.Her eyes light up the room

10.Her accent is cute

11.She manages to look even more beautiful when she doesn't try

12.She manages to pull off being sexy while being a children's role model

(Miley laughed a bit at this, making me feel better)

13.She manages to break my heart, but I still find myself in love with her

14.She's perfect

15.I love when she sings, her voice is amazing

16.When she dances with me my heart beats fast

17.I feel hot when she gets close to me

18.Her hair is beautiful

19.She's always beautiful

20.She makes it hard to breathe

21.She's all I think about

I looked up from the paper, and looked at Miley. Tears were slowly rolling down her face. I looked into her eyes.

"Miley I love you, I always have." I said weakly. I felt as though my knees were going to give out.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Miley choked out.

"I was going to, I came to your house the day Jake asked you to be his girlfriend. I stood out in the rain. I was going to give you daisies." I said shaking.

"I thought you loved that boy, I was going to tell you. I heard you and Oliver talking about it. I made myself love Jake." Miley whispered. She was now standing up, we were not even inches apart. I could taste her tears.

"I love you." Miley whispered.

I felt her soft lips press against mine. She put her hands around my neck, and I put mine around her waist. Her tongue massaged my lips. I was trembling. Miley Stewart loved me.

"What the hell!" Jake yelled.

I felt Miley's lips come off mine but she remained close to me holding me tightly.

"I love Lilly." Miley squeaked out.

"You better not fucking love her." Jake yelled. His face was red. "We have a wedding to get to, and after many Jake Juniors to make."

"Jake go, Miley doesn't love you." I said holding on to Miley protectively.

Jake made his way towards us. I pushed my way in front of Miley protecting her. I saw Jake fall to the floor. Robbie Ray was behind him. He hit Jake off the head with a pan.

"About time you two tell each other how ya feel." Robbie said smiling.

I looked at him, feeling shocked. How did he know?

"I actually thought you were going to marry this jerk right here." Robbie said kicking Jake a bit.

"Wait you knew and never told me?" Miley said sounding shocked.

"Sometimes things need to be figured out by yourself." He said.

I smiled.

"Now you two get going, I'll handle this mess." He said.

"Thanks daddy I love you." Miley said giving him a hug.

"Thanks." I said smiling.

"Anytime girls, now get goin'." He said.

"Where do you wanna go Miles?" I asked taking her hand.

"Anywhere as long as I'm with you." She said giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

I smiled, I could get use to this.

* * *

I was bored, and decided to write my very first one-shot. It also took me awhile to write, even though I did it in one night. It's very long. Reviews would be great because I'd love to know what you think about this. 

I do not own Hannah Montana.


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